Well, Hello to me. As I sit writing this and starting to chart my life, my two remaining Jack Russells (J and M) are by my sides and my cat - N -is sat at the end of my bed. B, my staffy that was mine and my partners is downstairs as she can’t be in the same room as M as they hate each other. Life is difficult, and so very different from what it was 4months ago it’s unreal.
I currently have two jobs to try and make ends meet and I’m perpetually busy so that I don’t have time to stop and think too much… I’m menopausal and perpetually tired through lack of sleep. My blood pressure is very high and I make rubbish food choices. On my way to burn out? Maybe… It’s the only way I can cope at the moment though.
I work from 4-8am at the supermarket packing online shopping. I then pick B up from the friend that she stays with over night at 8.15am. I bring her home, walk her and my other two in separate dog walks. Get changed and then go off to work in a school for a few hours doing admin in the office. Then I come home, have food and take B back to my friends for her to stay the night. I get home about 7.30pm and go to bed as I’m up at 2 am for my supermarket job.
I used to run my partners business. But I can’t now for the life of me take on a good job with responsibility, my mental health is not so good. I have good days and days whereby I’m simply terrified and filled with grief. I could have coped I think with one death, but G being killed in such horrific circumstances just about put paid to my sanity I believe. It’s like I would imagine losing a child. Devastating on top of everything else.
But.. it’s now three months later and I’m moving forward. I have somewhere to live until I can find somewhere away from here where I don’t see the accident two or three times a day. I have two jobs. I have my beautiful daughter (at uni) I have my health. And I have my other furbabies. So it’s best foot forward with my plans for the the future.
Hello Donna
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments on my blog.
I feel for you with all that's happened, life is shitty sometimes, in fact a lot of the time but we have to keep going don't we?
I think we humans are a lot tougher than we think and in time we get to cope with things a little better.
I'm sure that you will conquer your problems in time and be okay.
I always say it's not good to look back too much but to concentrate on going forward.
As you probably know, Tom is terminal and is sadly getting worse and worse, I don't know how long he has but have to take each day as it comes. We have been together for 61 years, a long time. I'm so glad that I have my crochet as I take myself off upstairs and the counting of stitches etc. takes my mind of things and I am able to cope.
I have an email address on my blog if you ever want to get in contact.
Keep strong, nothing lasts forever.
Hugs
Briony
x
Thank you so much for your kind comment Briony. I have quietly followed your blog for …well must be about 10years now? Cheering you on and wishing you and Tom on and wishing you both well. You’re so right.. nothing lasts forever and we are a lot stronger than we realise.
DeleteEverything passes is what I say.
Let’s hope we can all move forward and have as good a year as we can! Take real good care, and once again thank you for your kindness. Big hugs x